I settled up to the saloon,
ready to shoot my shot real soon,
Down some whiskey, feeling fine, had a pretty gal on my mind,
Took her up to my room with Haze,
ready to show my cowboy taste,
When it came time to do the deed,
my pistol just refused to leave,
Uh oh, oh the ballot of the whiskey dick,
Too much booze can't get my grip,
so stay there I'm laughing stock, a limp dick shame,
whiskey's to blame for my classic game Damn!,
She gave me a look of sheer disgust as I fumbled with my pants and bust,
Tried to muster up some cowboy might,
but my saddle-born just wouldn't bite,
Embarrassed and ashamed, I must admit, I'm just a drunk with a useless bit,
Whiskey's ruined my one-night stand,
left me with a fist full of lint Sad on chance,
all the ballot of whiskey dick,
so sad Hell, the recurrence turned my pecker set to BAM,
a drunken fool can't even screw,
Whiskey's left me with ball-soul booze,
Now listen up all you cow-pokes,
don't make the same mistake as this bloke,
When you're in the store and get some tail,
go easy on the whiskey,
Don't derail, or else you'll end up like poor old me A flaccid failure,
a sight to see,
a cautionary tale of a cowboy's blind,
Whisk, whisk would be the shame,
whisk wouldn't fool my flaccid game,
Oh, the ballot of whiskey dick,
yeehaw! Too much booze can't get my grip,
so stay there I'm laughing stock,
a limp dick shame,
whiskey's to blame for my classic game,
All the ballot of whiskey dick, yeehaw!,
Yeehaw! Too much booze can't get my priss,
damn! I'm a laughing stock,
a limp dick shame,
Whiskeys to blame for my flaccid game,
damn! Oh, the ballad of Whiskey Dick,
yeehaw! Too much booze can't get my priss,
damn! I'm a laughing stock,
a limp dick shame,
Whiskeys to blame for my flaccid game, damn!,
Oh, the ballad of Whiskey Dick,
yeehaw! Too much booze can't get my priss,
damn! I'm a laughing stock,
a limp dick shame,
Whiskeys to blame for my flaccid game,
damn!,
Oh, I sit up on the throne,
and I'm walking myself,
I'll bring the other ones,
is not to get,
Oh, she's better than that,
the water is cold on the bone,
But if she falling for the help of my leg,
Yeah, I could buy a ball,
but it's gone for the year,
She call me for the mid is myself,
I'm laughing for Whiskeys to blame for my flaccid game,
And I'm a loud bars wall in Whiskeys to blame for my flaccid game.

Yeah, I could buy a ball,
but it's gone for the year,
She call me for the mid is myself,
I'm laughing for Whiskeys to blame for my flaccid game,
I'm laughing for Whiskeys to blame for my flaccid game.