I settled up to the saloon,
ready to shoot my shot real soon,
Bounced some whiskey, feeling fine, had a pretty gal on my mind,
Took her up to my room with Haze,
ready to show my cowboy taste,
When it came time to do the deed,
my pistol just refused to leave,
Uh-oh, oh the ballot of the whiskey dick,
Too much booze can't get my grip to steady,
I'm laughing stock-o-lymptic shame,
whiskey's to blame for my classic game Damn!,
She gave me a look of sheer disgust as I fumbled with my pants and bust,
Tried to muster up some cowboy might but my saddle horn just wouldn't bite,
Embarrassed and ashamed, I must admit I'm just a drunk with a useless dick,
Whiskey's ruined my one-night stand,
left me with a fist full of lint Sad on chance,
all the ballot of whiskey dick Screwed,
sad,
hell with courage turned my pecker set to bad,
A drunken fool can't even screw,
whiskey's left me with basso boo,
Now listen up all you cowpokes,
don't make the same mistake as this bloke,
When you're in the store and get some tail,
go easy on the whiskey,
Don't derail or else you'll end up like poor old me A flaccid failure,
a sight to see,
a cautionary tale of a cowboy's blight,
Whisk, whisk would be the shame,
whisk wouldn't fool my flaccid game,
Oh the ballot of whiskey dick,
yeehaw! Too much booze can't get my grip to stand,
A laughing stock elliptic shame,
whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game,
Damn! Oh the ballot of whiskey dick,
yeehaw! Too much booze can't get my grip to stand,
A laughing stock elliptic shame,
whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game,
Damn! Oh the ballot of whiskey dick,
yeehaw! Too much booze can't get my grip to stand,
A laughing stock elliptic shame,
whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game Damn!,
Oh the ballot of whiskey dick,
yeehaw! Too much booze can't get my grip to stand A laughing stock elliptic shame,
whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game Damn!,
Oh I sit up on the throne and I'm walking myself I'll bring the other ones is not to get,
Oh she's been down in water and it's going up on her Does she fall in for the help of my lead?,
I could buy four bottles,
go for the year She call me for the mid is myself,
I'll bring four whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game,
And a lamb is walling whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game,
We have a thorn for a bone is not for the year She call me for the mid is myself,
I paid for whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game,
I paid for whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game