I settled up to the saloon,
ready to shoot my shot real soon,
Bought some whiskey, feeling fine, had a pretty gal on my mind,
Took her up to my room with Haze,
ready to show my cowboy taste,
When it came time to do the deed,
my pistol just refused to leave,
Uh oh, oh the ballot of the whiskey dick,
Behold, too much booze can't get my grip,
Just that I'm laughing stock-o-lymptic shame Whiskeys to blame for my flaccid game Damn!,
She gave me a look of sheer disgust as I fumbled with my pants and bust,
Tried to muster up some cowboy might but my saddle-born just wouldn't fight,
Embarrassed and ashamed, I must admit I'm just a drunk with a useless debt,
Whiskeys ruined my one-night stand,
left me with a fist full of linseed,
Had no chance,
all the ballot of whiskey dick was sad,
But with courage turned my pecker set to bad,
a drunken fool can't even screw,
Whiskeys left me with balls so blue,
Now listen up all you cow-pokes,
don't make the same mistake as this mobe,
When you're in the store and get some tail,
go easy on the whiskey,
don't derail Or else you'll end up like poor old me,
a flaccid failure, a sight to see,
a cautionary tale of a cowboy's blieeeeeeel,
Whiz,
whisk would be the shame,
whisk wouldn't fool my flaccid game,
Oh, the ballot of whiskey dick,
yee-haw, too much booze can't get my grip,
Damn, I'm a laughing stock,
elliptic shame, whiskies to blame for my flaccid game,
Damn, oh the ballot of whiskey dick,
yee-haw, too much booze can't get my grip,
Damn, I'm a laughing stock,
elliptic shame, whiskies to blame for my flaccid game,
Damn, oh the ballot of whiskey dick,
yee-haw, too much booze can't get my grip,
Damn, I'm a laughing stock, elliptic shame,
whiskies to blame for my flaccid game,
Damn,
oh the ballot of whiskey dick,
yee-haw,
too much booze can't get my grip,
Damn, I'm a laughing stock,
elliptic shame, whiskies to blame for my flaccid game Damn,
Oh, I sit up on the throne,
and I walk in my soul,
I'll bring her out once is not to get,
Oh, she's been out in water,
and it's going up all,
but is she falling for the elf on my leg?,
Yeah, I could buy a full bounties,
go for the eels,
she call me for the middies myself,
I'm laughing for whiskies to blame for my flaccid game,
And my lamb is walling whiskies to blame for my flaccid game,
Yeah, I could buy a full bounties,
go for the eels,
she call me for the middies myself,
I'm laughing for whiskies to blame for my flaccid game,
I'm laughing for whiskies to blame for my flaccid game