I settled up to the saloon,
ready to show my shot real soon,
Down some whiskey, feeling fine, had a pretty gal on my mind,
Took her up to my room with Haze,
ready to show my cowboy taste,
When it came time to do the deed,
my pistol just refused to leave,
Uh oh, oh the ballot of the whiskey dick,
Too much booze can't get my grip,
so stay there I'm laughing stock, a limp dick shame,
whiskey's to blame for my classic game Damn!,
She gave me a look of sheer disgust as I fumbled with my pants and bust,
Tried to muster up some cow and might but my saddle-born just wouldn't bite,
Embarrassed and ashamed, I must admit I'm just a drunk with a useless dick,
Whiskey's ruined my one-night stand,
left me with a fist full of lint Sad on chance,
all the ballot of whiskey dick,
oh sad Hell with courage turned my pecker set to ban,
a drunken fool can't even screw,
Whiskey's left me with basso booze,
Now listen up all you cowpokes,
don't make the same mistake as this bloke,
When you're in the store and get some tail,
go easy on the whiskey,
Don't derail or else you'll end up like poor old me A flaccid failure,
a sight to see,
a cautionary tale of a cowboy's blime,
Whisk, whisk would be the shame,
whisk wouldn't fool my flaccid game,
Damn! All the ballot of whiskey dick,
yeehaw, too much booze can't get my criss,
damn I'm laughing stock, a limp dick shame,
whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game,
Damn! All the ballot of whiskey dick,
yeehaw, too much booze can't get my criss,
damn I'm laughing stock, a limp dick shame,
whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game,
Damn! All the ballot of whiskey dick,
yeehaw, too much booze can't get my criss,
damn I'm laughing stock, a limp dick shame,
whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game,
Damn!,
All the ballot of whiskey dick,
yeehaw,
too much booze can't get my criss,
damn I'm laughing stock, a limp dick shame,
whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game Damn!,
Oh, I shed a long frown,
and I'm walking myself,
all the rindered up loans is not to give,
Oh, she's better than that water,
it's golden or bone,
but then she falling for the elf on my leg,
Yeah, I could buy a full bounties dog for the year,
she call me for the middies myself,
I'm laughing for whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game,
And my lamb is walling whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game,
Yeah, I could buy a full bounties dog for the year,
she call me for the middies myself,
I'm laughing for whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game,
I'm laughing for whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game,
I'm laughing for whiskey's to blame for my flaccid game